My dear loving mother I write you this letter
In hope that our future together is better
The problem’s much worse than a rash or a blister
As surely you know, it is Laurie–my sister!

She entered our home, I was never consulted
In all of these years only bad has resulted
I’m minding my business, she gets me in trouble
You’re shopping for snacks and the bill’s always double
I’m certain that no one but Laurie’s enjoying
The fact that she’s loud and extremely annoying

You say that this summer we’ll travel the nation
We need a solution before our vacation
The job must be done and it’s yours for the doing
So take care of Laurie, or Mother, I’m suing!

Sergio Wals made this poem into a song and it included it on his CD. You can hear it by clicking here.